When you are dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part.
So a couple things…
1. TOnight was a great “feeling” night. I love when I feel like I am living my life to the fullest. THat was tonight. I usually feel it when I am on Main Street, walking around appreciating my surroundings. Loving that there are still local businesses around and a strong sense of community.
2. I watched The Secret Life of Bees – which is a very powerful, emotional movie. How could a movie about killing your own mother, civil rights, suicide, and love not be? The struggles of giving in yet being strong at the same time. The power of knowing that you can make it through another day, another heartache, another weight from the world on your shoulders – yet come out on the other side a stronger, better person. Amazing.
Sometimes I just feel. I feel so in tune with emotions. Its not necessarily one emotion or the other – but its strong. I could cry at the drop of water drop, a lyric of a song, an idea… Its hard for me to explain this feeling, as it is just feeling. Its like these lyrics. They are not about someone else, but my experiences of my feelings or my actual feelings. Its powerful to know that you are not at mercy of someone else, but you are dealing with the effects on you. Its a fine line – but its drawn. Its your own emotions. Its analyzing and feeling them.
For some reason this lyric really speaks to me: We are slow dancing in a burning room.
A simple little kind of free.. No one to be… Im perfectly lonely, im perfectly lonely, im perfectly lonely — Cause I dont belong to anyone, and no one belongs to me… And this is not to say, there never comes a day, ill take my chances and start again, and when I look behind, on all my younger times, ill have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong.
Too many showers in this room
too many hours in this midnight
too many corners in my mind
so much to do to set my heart right
oh its taken so long
i could be wrong
i could be ready
but if i take my hearts advice
I should assume
Its still unsteady
I am in repair
===== I am in repair, but arent we all?